Components
Joy is not a state of happiness but a condition like peace that exists independent of circumstances. Joy is a conscious decision supported by gratitude and attitude.
To begin with, everyone reading this post on their electronic device over the internet can be grateful their physiological and safety needs from Maslow’s Hierarchy are met. We may have greater material desires we regard as needs, but none suffer from a lack of necessities.
We can experience insufficient human love, self-esteem, or self-actualization and still be grateful for the times we had them and hopeful, knowing any absence is temporary, not permanent.
You can recall years ago being brokenhearted by romantic break-ups. Today, you appreciate the experiences even if it only means you dodged a bullet and how those “failed” relationships set you up for a better one.
Writing and reading this blog indicates some amount of self-esteem and self-actualization, and confidence in more to come.
Joy also requires a positive outlook. I am not talking about your mother’s warning before going to the dreaded family reunion to act like you are having fun. It is anticipating goodness because you believe life is fundamentally good and have seen bad evolve into good many times (discussed in this blog post).
Caveat
Gratitude and a positive attitude do not insulate you from tragedy and pain. You will fall ill, have trouble paying bills, see loved ones die prematurely, and your descendants will go through tough times. There will be grief, but the joyful do not have sadness in their nature.
Joyfulness does not change the circumstance but changes your response. A joyful disposition equips you to handle poor circumstances. Being equipped does not mean forcing yourself to like it or resigning yourself to it. A joyful perspective considers all events in the most favorable light and instills confidence you will persevere. Together they enable the best response and soothe the pain.
We can lament the rained-out picnic and appreciate the replenishment of the reservoirs. My computer breakdown delays my work and provides a much-need break from the screen and an introduction to a reliable IT support person. A positive outlook allows old-timers to say, “Any day above ground is a good one.”
A positive attitude attracts positive outcomes; it is a self-fulfilling prophecy, a non-vicious circle with the good fueling more good. Today, I am chided for gleefully awaiting what the day brings – what I will experience, learn, do, or who I will see or meet. Life consistently and richly rewards my rational exuberance.
It is not only what joy brings you; it is what it brings to others. The joyful have an infectious energy radiating from them. They cannot help but share it, and their companions cannot help but receive it. How do you feel when you interact with a joyous person? You are attracted to the energy, receive it, and your attitude improves.
The Exemplar
Allow me to introduce you to my Uncle Dave, a man with few apparent circumstances enabling joy. He watched two wives perish after long, tortuous battles with cancer. He suffers from alcoholism (sober for 40+ years), and his financial resources cannot provide luxuries. Finally, illness has robbed him of the ability to move, and he relies entirely on his son, Owen, to attend to his every physical need.
Uncle Dave is entirely aware of his condition and is equally aware others have it much better than him. The only thing he has more of than everyone else is joy. Uncle Dave’s face is never without a smile, a laugh is never far from his lips, and only happy words come from his mouth. He is grateful for his many past and current blessings and knows the futility of longing for something he does not have and cannot use.
Being in Uncle Dave’s presence does not give rise to guilt over previously complaining about your condition, which is objectively much better than his. No, you realize he has it much better than you, and he inspires you to seek what he has. Fortunately, it is within our grasp.
Note: Some emotional and mental conditions inhibiting peace and joy require professional intervention. I strongly urge those with such conditions to seek the help needed.
