Everything Wrong with Me
Today’s message is not merely a confession; I invite you into the conversation by interjecting questions requiring self-reflection.
Usually, I would not drag someone else down with me, but “Sam” was my able accomplice. Fortunately, he is good-natured and open to sharing this experience to help others. His presence also illustrates I am not alone in my compulsions.
Sam and I were bike riding and noticed a driver parked on the side of the road in distress. Sam, a leader in our church, suggested we do our biblical duty and assist the stranded motorist. The driver informed us he could not remove the spare tire from his van.
Without (i) a moment’s hesitation, (ii) listening to another word, or (iii) any knowledge, I declared the spare was under the rear of the van and headed to retrieve it. After searching in vain for a couple of minutes, I returned my attention to the driver and retroactively heard what I had ignored during my futile search; the spare was under the side of the van.
Question 1: Do you prescribe your solution before listening to the complete description of the problem?
Armed with this previously “withheld” information, we searched for the opening on the floorboard that permitted access to the release mechanism. Despite our unbridled enthusiasm, we could not locate it, so we considered the solution might require removing the rear seat. At this point, we finally relented and opened the instruction manual.
Question 2: Do you rely on your understanding and decide on a solution without consulting the readily available resources designed to assist you?
As you might expect, the solution did not require us to deconstruct the car; the manual indicated the release nut was under a flap in the carpet. We set upon the floor with renewed vigor but still could not locate it. After this frantic effort, we paused, stepped back, and let the light of day shine on the situation. As the sun’s rays hit the carpet, they illuminated a previously unseen but obvious seam that could be peeled back to reveal the release nut.
Question 3: Do you rush into a situation with your mind fixated on a solution without pausing to obtain a complete perspective?
With the nut exposed, I began cranking it like I was drilling an oil well while Sam relentlessly encouraged me to keep turning. With Sam’s loud exhortations and my huffing and puffing, we could not hear our unfortunate beneficiary tell us he could remove the spare (ironically, the nut has a fool-proof design allowing it to be loosened but not removed).
Question #4: Do you use a hammer when a feather would do? Rather than encouragement or a simple suggestion, do you seek to impose a heavy-handed solution?
After mounting the tire on the wheel, I reached for the wrench to tighten the nuts. Before I could do so, our victim encouraged us to leave by saying he did not want to further interrupt our bike ride. I suspect his dismissal was motivated by fear of impending disaster rather than concern for our exercise routine.
I can only imagine what he told his family upon returning home. Rather than the biblical tale of the Good Samaritan, he probably told them he narrowly avoided the Titanic’s iceberg. Our intention was virtuous, but our actions revealed more egotism than virtue.
Our Answers
I hope you answered “never” to all the questions. But if you did, I urge you to reconsider. When Sam and I stopped to render aid, we did not think we possessed the traits our actions expressed. If, after further consideration, your answers remain “never,” I suggest you review this article with your spouse or children.
Our egos always play a role in our decisions and can motivate virtuous actions. The problem arises when we are unaware an honorable endeavor obscures an opportunity for improvement. This experience gave Sam and me plenty to discuss during the remainder of our bike ride and an aspiration to behave better next time.
