What is the purpose of accolades, and what do we do with them?
Acceptance
First, accept the compliment graciously by thanking the provider. Often, we respond flippantly in an attempt at humility. Have you ever said, “Yes, the dress is pretty, but my butt looks big,” or “Yes, I finished the marathon, but I ran too slowly”? These well-intentioned expressions of humility reject or belittle the speaker’s generosity.
A friend recently spent hours thoughtfully consoling a fellow passenger grieving over the loss of a loved one. As he exited the plane, a flight attendant complimented him on his compassionate act. When he began to explain that it was not a big deal, the flight attendant interrupted him and said, “Sometimes it is OK just to say thank you.”
Always express appreciation for kind remarks. If you cannot withstand the unnecessary temptation to express humility, you can add something benign like “I appreciated the opportunity to be of service or I am working out more this year to do the dress even more justice.”
This combination of responses conveys an appreciation for the compliment, recognition of its value, and the aspiration to do better.
Affirmation
While a compliment may make us feel good, it should not overinflate our ego. The true purpose is affirmation. Compliments inform us we are on the right path and should continue.
My pastor once asked the congregation, “What is the purpose of the recognition you seek? Are you creating a platform for widespread positive impact or building a stage for popularity?”
Often, we wonder if we are on the right path and if our efforts are worth the cost because we do not see the hoped-for results. Affirmation acts as a tonic and arrives at the exact time and manner needed.
After the first two years of working with brands and organizations in the consumer-packaged goods industry, I began to doubt whether the considerable time and effort I invested was worthwhile.
I was mired in these thoughts as I arrived at an industry event one evening. In the first ten minutes, two colleagues thanked me profusely for my vital assistance (connection to a supplier, employment referral). A third, to whom I provided counsel on communicating with the owner of his business, excitedly presented me with a business card listing his new title as “Chief Executive Officer.”
Their gestures gratified me, but I understood the purpose was to affirm my past activities, and the result was motivating me to continue them. This story also reminds us to praise those engaging in worthwhile activities; our words can invigorate another’s efforts.
Our Desire for Recognition?
Undertaking anything for public acclaim is a fool’s errand. Except for one person out of 8 billion, there will always be someone with more Instagram likes or TikTok views. No matter how clever or eloquent my words may be, they will never garner as much acclaim as one dance step by Charlie D’Amelio.
At the same time, seeking popularity is valuable when the purpose of your activity is virtuous. More exposure and acceptance equals greater impact. In other words, I want my writing to inspire as many people to pursue a fulfilling life as Charlie D’Amelio has inspired to do the Renegade dance.
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Give affirmation to fuel another’s pursuit. When given to you, accept it graciously and earnestly use it to further your purpose.