What about a mentee’s responsibility to the relationship, and what do mentors get out of it?
Expectations
Mentees should carefully consider the guidance provided or revealed, use what they believe is valuable, and discard the remainder. Mentors do not expect to be followed like an orchestra leader but will lose interest if you do not act on the learnings.
Mentees should also seek the consistent interaction mentorship requires; you cannot easily pick up after a long absence like you can with your old high school chums. Nothing is more effectiveness-killing (and disappointing) than investing your energy into someone and being ghosted or not hearing from them until the next crisis.
Mentees need not fear intruding upon their mentor’s time by seeking regular meetings; mentors know regularity is necessary. I “insist” that my mentees meet with me monthly. Ironically, I tell them, “If you do not take my time consistently, I will give you none of it.”
Mentors delight in hearing stories about your accomplishments and how you competently addressed an issue you would have previously brought to them. Or, during a session, you grimace and say,”(Damnit,) I know the question you are about to ask.”
Ultimately, mentors want to know if the relationship is providing value. If not, they need to change it so that it does or end it.
A mentor’s joy is complete when a mentee begins mentoring others, multiplying our impact. When a mentee began mentoring an entrepreneur in his home country, I was delighted he was inspired to serve. Apparently, I misinterpreted his motivation. With a mischievous grin, he said, “Now I get to be on the giving end of all these questions rather than the receiving.”
Why?
Having a role in someone’s personal development is incredibly gratifying. In a small way, it is like the feeling you had when you let go of your child’s bicycle seat and saw her pedal down the street for the first time.
Paying it forward also expresses appreciation for those who took an interest in you and helped accelerate your progress somewhere along your journey.
Mentors inevitably learn as they take a mentee through a problem-solving exercise since they share the same underlying issues. Working through a mentee’s procrastination problem reminded me to prioritize picking up my pen over caressing my mouse.
On a practical level, my younger generation mentees suggested improvements to my introductory blog videos’ lighting, location, graphic resolution, and content. Check me out on Insta’ to compare my earliest videos with my most recent ones.
Mentorship can also transform your peer acquaintanceships into life-enhancing relationships. Those inclined toward mentorship find conversations going beyond the current heat wave and the Cowboy’s prospects for the upcoming season to discussions on meaningful topics such as family relationships, philanthropy, grief, etc.
I have the good fortune of several reciprocal mentoring relationships that change my thinking and direction, which you see played out in these blog messages. I aim to do the same for them.
The Wrap
As I approached this year’s series on mentorship, I thought I would only need to brush the dust off last year’s messages and use a thesaurus to change a few words. Instead, the past year’s mentoring experiences generated much new material to write about or required me to overhaul any material I repeated. If you want more on this subject, I refer you to last year’s posts – The Invaluable Relationship, Starting Off on the Right Foot, This is How You Do It, and Here are the “Receipts”.
I trust my messages have shown the value of mentorship, and I do not need to tell you in a non-mentor way to pursue it.
Mentorship pays greater dividends than the highest-yielding blue-chip utility stock; the growth and satisfaction you give and get far exceed the time and effort invested.