What do I Mean?
It is too easy to pursue the avalanche of “opportunities” coming our way from within, family, work, and friends that take us away from doing what we previously determined to be most important. We discover the most troublesome enemies of accomplishing our goals are not obvious time wasters like social media but virtuous activities we enjoy doing.
To be diverted, you must know what is most important. Determining the important and the goals to accomplish them will be the subject of its own article, but I suspect you already have them in writing or on your mind. For the purposes of this article, your goals are “important” and everything else is “unimportant.”
We are distracted because we do not remember what is important, or more critically, why it is important. You set your goals with the belief they would yield the greatest positive impact and necessarily decided all other activities were secondary.
How can you say no to joining the board of non-profit serving underprivileged children when you are well-suited for the task and can positively contribute? Easily, when you understand the opportunity cost; the board service will have a detrimental impact on your ability to do “your” important. This issue is like the urgent vs. important dichotomy; instead of urgency, your heartstrings are the distractor.
How does it Happen?
You will not be discouraged from or criticized for doing the virtuous but unimportant. In fact, you will be applauded for doing them which makes them even more tempting. The allure of positive opinion entices us to disregard our internal values. My actions last week serve as prime examples.
I spent 90 minutes on the phone with my friend’s Aunt Mary discussing her son’s estate (35 years ago I was an estate attorney). Aunt Mary appreciated my advice and sympathetic ear; my friend was grateful; and I was delighted to be helpful. I also provided advice concerning fund-raising and co-packing to ambitious entrepreneurs during three, one-hour calls. They received valuable guidance and I felt great supporting their entrepreneurial journey.
You probably think I am I fine chap; but if you knew all the facts, you might regard me as a neglectful son. One of my important objectives is being the primary caregiver for my mother who recently moved into assisted living. Instead of preparing the condo, she needs me to sell, I let it sit idle while freely dispensing counsel to Aunt Mary and the entrepreneurs. I ignored the area where I am uniquely positioned to have the greatest impact.
How Can We Avoid?
There is a threshold question you can ask when faced with any possible activity. “Will this action lead me to accomplish one of my goals?” If not, replace it with something that will. This exercise reinforces the mindset and resolve required to keep you on task.
You might think no one could be so properly disciplined and reject everything but the important. There will be times when you feel compelled to say yes or something unexpectedly important arises. In these instances, do the deed as efficiently as possible and consider removing another item from your list as your capacity for action is probably unchanged.
Instead of meeting, I could have referred Aunt Mary to a competent lawyer or sent the entrepreneurs links to resources. If a meeting is necessary, strictly limit it to no longer than necessary to address the subject. Instead of joining the non-profit board, offer to provide service in the area you are most qualified.
We are accustomed to setting positive goals such as exercising four times per week, but not limits on virtuous, less important activities. Where do you need to set a cap on good deeds (i.e., lunchroom duties, workout #6) so you can do more of the important (i.e., attend your children’s activities, date night with your SO)? I have established an often-violated time limit on serving early-stage companies.
The Takeaway
The most cunning enemy of your positive impact is pursuing the virtuous but unimportant.
Postscript. Before you flood my inbox with criticism, please know I visit my mommy at least twice per week including wheeling her to church on Sundays.
