Are You Sure About This?
After residing with our goals for a month, now is a good time to address an issue hindering our progress toward accomplishment: fear. Begin by considering how many of your accomplishments required passing through fear.
You were deathly afraid after the training wheels came off and your mom, who could run no longer, announced she was letting go of your bicycle seat. Within a week, you scared mom with your Evel Knievel stunts.
What about the incredible sense of relief felt after subduing your fear of being alone and finally ending the soul-draining relationship?
Recall your anxiety when disrobing in front of your first intimate relationship partner before doing something you had never done before. Imagine what you would have missed if you had not overcome your fear by unfastening those buttons. I suspect it did not take many sessions before you considered yourself exceedingly desirable and proficient.
Anticipating success puts us in the mindset to break through fear. Overcoming fear-induced self-limiting beliefs by setting a challenging goal evidences your belief you can accomplish it. You know, “What man can conceive, man can achieve.”
Yes, but…
We will fail at some of our challenging endeavors. Great baseball players fail to get a hit 70% of the time. Confidence does not insulate you from failure but facilitates the courage to act in the face of uncertainty and potential unfavorable outcomes.
In this era of words matter, perhaps we should narrow the definition of “failure” from its all-or-nothing connotation to “not achieving the intended objective.” This definition recognizes collateral benefits such as displaying the courage to act, the learning obtained in the process, and realizing failure may be a prerequisite to success.
Fear also exaggerates the consequences of potentially unsuccessful outcomes. Falling off a bike may only cause a scratch, and the rare broken bone heals in weeks. When you drew a blank and could not answer a simple question during a crucial customer presentation, you were mortified but did not die of embarrassment or lose your job.
Then Governor Bill Clinton delivered one of the worst speeches ever at the 1988 Democratic National Convention. Pundits declared the performance ended his political career. Four years later, he joked about that infamous speech while accepting his party’s presidential nomination.
It’s Pesky
No matter how many times you have done it successfully, some fear of falling off the bike or bed persists. Past success, confidence, and careful preparation can subdue fear but not extinguish it. There comes a point when action is the only thing that can move you through fear.
Firefighters running into burning buildings and soldiers crawling out of foxholes are not fearless but possess courage, the strength to act despite fear. We will unlikely face a life-or-death situation, but challenging goals require traveling through the invisible barrier of fear surrounding our comfort zone.
Ironically…
Since we know growth resides outside our comfort zone, we should be afraid of inaction that forecloses progress. Remaining in the comfort zone when you know you are capable of more eventually causes great discomfort.
Some Virtue in It
Fortunately, fear serves a purpose by protecting us from foolhardy acts. A burn-the-boats attitude is great for the 21-year-old who wants to quit her barista job to become a snowboard instructor but perilous for a 50-year-old with a mortgage, car payments, and college tuition.
However, healthy fear does not stop action but tailors it.
While fearing that he may never sell one piece of art, a middle-aged amateur made time for school to develop his skills, painted in his garage on the weekends and began marketing his art while incrementally reducing time spent on his professional career. In ten short years, commercial buildings and fine homes display his artwork, and his “professional” career is a side hustle.
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Preparation and experience reduce fear’s power to inhibit action, but action is necessary to break through fear and achieve growth. Where do you need to cross the line?