Components
Joy is not a temporal state of happiness but a persistent state attained by accepting every moment without imposing judgment. Admittedly a tall order, but consciously practicing gratitude and maintaining a positive attitude reduces our impulse to judge. Joy can be present, not because of, but during every circumstance.
Everyone reading this post on their electronic device over the internet can be grateful their physiological and safety needs in Maslow’s Hierarchy are met. We may regard greater material desires as needs, but do not suffer from a lack of necessities.
Amid insufficient human love, self-esteem, or self-actualization, we can be grateful for the times we had them and hopeful, knowing any absence is temporary, not permanent.
You recall being brokenhearted by romantic break-ups. Today, you appreciate the experiences even if it only means you dodged a bullet and how lessons from those “failed” relationships set you up for a better one.
Joy also requires a positive outlook. I am not talking about your mother’s warning to act like you are having fun before going to the dreaded family reunion. It is anticipating goodness because you believe life is fundamentally good and have seen bad used for good (this blog post).
Caveat
Gratitude and a positive attitude do not insulate you from tragedy and suffering. You will fall ill, have trouble paying bills, see loved ones die prematurely, and your descendants will go through tough times. There will be grief, but the joyful do not have sadness in their nature.
Joyfulness does not change dismal circumstances but equips you to handle them. Being equipped does not mean forcing yourself to like or resigning yourself to them. A joyful perspective considers all events in the most favorable light, instills confidence to persevere, and soothes the pain.
We can lament the rained-out picnic and appreciate the replenishment of the reservoirs. My computer breakdown delayed my work and provided a much-needed break from the screen and an introduction to a reliable IT support tech. A positive outlook allows old-timers to say, “Any day above ground is a good one.”
Positivity attracts positive outcomes; it is a self-fulfilling prophecy, a non-vicious circle with the good fueling more good. People chide me for gleefully awaiting what the day brings – what I will experience, learn, or the fortuitous meeting. Life consistently and richly rewards my rational exuberance.
It is not only what joy brings us; it is what it brings others. The joyful have an infectious, radiating energy, and their companions cannot help but receive it. Do you ever leave an encounter thinking that just being in that person’s presence makes you feel better? What must change for you to be that person?
The Exemplar
Meet my Uncle Dave, a man with few apparent circumstances enabling joy. He watched two wives perish after long, tortuous battles with cancer. He lives with alcoholism (sober for 40+ years), and his financial resources cannot provide luxuries. Finally, illness has robbed him of the ability to move, and he must rely on his son, Owen, to attend to his every physical need.
Uncle Dave is aware others have it “much better” than him. The only thing he has more of than everyone else is joy. Uncle Dave’s face is never without a smile, a laugh is never far from his lips, and only happy words come from his mouth. He is grateful for his many past and current blessings and knows the futility of longing for something he does not have or cannot use.
Being in Uncle Dave’s presence does not incite guilt over previously complaining about your objectively superior condition. No, you realize he has it much better than you, and he inspires you to seek what he has.
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Release your expectations and opinions about any moment and grasp joy by anticipating goodness and practicing gratitude.
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Note: Some emotional and mental conditions inhibiting peace and joy require professional intervention. I strongly urge those with such conditions to seek the help needed.