


Love, Hate, Both?
Examples Abound It is the White guy who truthfully has Black friends but jokes about Blacks being unable to swim. It is my bible study classmate who announced that he hates White people. While I have doubts about his honesty, there must be some truth to his words. It was the Nazi party leaders who filed so many clemency requests for their Jewish doctors, grocers, and neighbors that the...

Give and Get
What about a mentee's responsibility to the relationship, and what do mentors get out of it? Expectations Mentees should carefully consider the guidance provided or revealed, use what they believe is valuable, and discard the remainder. Mentors do not expect to be followed like an orchestra leader but will lose interest if you do not act on the learnings. Mentees should also seek the...

Stories from the Field
Chip off the Old Block While refraining from supplying the answer, cajoling our mentees to think and act like we do (or should) is an alluring temptation. Besides the error of your ways, emulation is rarely productive. Recently, Bob Sr. lamented that Bob Jr. was not approaching his college search correctly. If it were up to him, Senior would emphasize the percentage of Ph.D.s on the faculty...

What is Needed?
Today, we will further distinguish mentorship from subject matter experts doling out advice. Most frequently, an answer is unnecessary, inaccurate, or the question does not address the correct issue. No Spoon-Feeding Mentees, resist the temptation to implore, “Just give me the answer!” Mentors mostly employ the Socratic Method, asking questions to stimulate critical thinking and empowering the...

The Invaluable Relationship
Stating the Case At some point, you have undoubtedly benefitted from a frank conversation with a trusted confidant, which leads to breakthrough growth. While you may have incredible affection for that person and share incredibly intimate details of your life, that person is likely not a therapist, life coach, family member, or friend. They are mentors who enable growth you cannot achieve...