The Groundwork
I hope you trust me enough to hear (read) me out. It is the other subject besides politics you are not supposed to talk about. Defensive reactions and fear of intruding upon or offending others make it an uncomfortable topic.
However, I would be almost disingenuous if I omitted a subject significant to me from this personal blog. It is faith, but I am not here to advocate a specific religion, even though I have hitched my wagon to one. I hope sharing my experience will encourage you to explore your faith.
I do not approach this subject with any moral or religious authority. This blog has exposed some of my failings, and I do not use my aspirations for good to take any moral high ground.
While I am not a scholar, I have an abundance of experiential authority. Several years ago, I attended services at 33 houses of worship of every variety (Russian Orthodox, Hindu, Islam, Jewish, Christian, Bahai, etc.). I developed new perspectives on faith, churchgoers, and community worship through this experience.
All Those Rules
We can start with an obvious issue. Burdensome do-good obligations and undue restrictions on pleasurable activity too often define faith and religion.
While religions have “thou shall and thou shall not” mandates, the purpose is to inspire virtuous activity and protect us from our own devices rather than serving as marching orders and restraints on enjoyment. Honoring your parents and speaking truthfully is peace-giving, and avoiding adultery and jealousy is protection from self-harm.
I observed the underlying premise of faith practices was love – between us, God, and our neighbor. The message I received is God loves us completely, and when we accept that love, it transforms us into lovers of all. While too complex to address in this post, the love exists amid and despite suffering.
The Church-Going Type
Another obstacle to church attendance is the belief that church folk are self-righteous and unwelcoming or are too friendly, arousing suspicion of a cult environment. There are church members guilty of both forms of conduct, but they are like political extremists, few and not representative of the vast majority.
During my journey, virtually all resident worshippers were genuinely friendly, and I never witnessed cult-like behavior. My home church and visits to another 20 churches confirmed these impressions.
Greed, crime, pastor idolatry, and every other human foible are present but are equally rare. These issues are not an indictment of faith but how people practice it.
Community
While you can be faithful and learn faith tenets without attending church, you miss the benefit of community.
Community worship generates a sense of belonging, being part of something larger than yourself. The members support each other along life’s journey, and you go further faster like the force propelling each cyclist in a peloton.
You might find a congregation that embraces you and literally shepherds your mom during the final year of her life.
A congregation seemingly different from you might teach you more about race than any college course. Church is where a middle-aged White man might present his learnings on racism and slavery to a Black congregation during Black History Month (starting at 3:00).
Transformed
I was a totally irregular and uninspired churchgoer when I started my church journey. Today, no matter how late I am at the club or how hungover I am, I am in church on Sunday morning, no matter where I am in the world.
If you are hesitant about faith or community worship, just give church a try. If you do not find what you need the first time, try again or elsewhere. You probably needed more than one date to decide about going steady with your significant other.
There is a lot more to say than can be told in a blog post; I will provide the rest of the story in my upcoming book (shameless plug).
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There is a place for everyone, and everyone needs a place.