Today, we will further distinguish mentorship from subject matter experts doling out advice. Most frequently, an answer is unnecessary, inaccurate, or the question does not address the correct issue.
No Spoon-Feeding
Mentees, resist the temptation to implore, “Just give me the answer!” Mentors mostly employ the Socratic Method, asking questions to stimulate critical thinking and empowering the mentee to formulate the solution.
A few days ago, “Sue” texted, saying she needed the answer to a question even though she knew I would not provide it. She was considering an industry-specific program with a five-figure price tag that I have participated in nine times. Despite benefitting greatly from the program, my inclination was that it was not the best fit for her.
Sue is a small business consultant and was concerned about committing the time and money. Over the course of our conversation, I asked what her goal was, how participation aligns with the goal, and about alternative methods to accomplish the goal. She regarded participation as a marketing effort with the additional benefit of giving back to the industry. She went back and forth, but I heard a few critical points.
She energetically said participation would raise awareness of her firm, provide credibility, and bring her into an exceptional network of industry peers. She mentioned other marketing efforts, like a professional social media campaign or SEO for her website, could not provide the same benefits. She also confessed money was not a problem as she had already allocated the funds to marketing initiatives.
Ultimately, I merely repeated her compelling reasons and joked that she wasted her time talking with me when she already had the solution. Her response indicated mentorship’s value. “Yes, I suspected the answer was somewhere inside me, but I needed this discussion to bring it out.” Fortunately, she did not come to me for advice, and I refrained from offering it, or she would have missed out.
Of course, our exchange provoked the question, “Why did she seek counsel when she knew the answer?” Which leads us to…
Symptom or Disease?
A mentee’s concern is frequently a symptom, not the problem, and the root cause must be identified and resolved.
Recently, a colleague approached me for the second time in six months for guidance on his long-overdue job search. He has been with his current employer for over a decade and was not dissatisfied but owed it to himself to see what other opportunities were available.
My last job search occurred before the Internet, and it had been almost nine years since I hired an employee. Nevertheless, I knew enough to discuss determining the desired attributes in a new position or company, raising your profile on LinkedIn, canvassing your network for referrals, etc. He became invigorated and believed he could quickly find a great position at an excellent company through a colleague.
I said that was fine but asked why this search was long overdue. Are you lazy, too comfortable, or fearful? After exploring these matters, he realized he needed to resolve the reasons for his delayed search, or they would plague his pursuit of and decision-making regarding any opportunity, employment or otherwise.
In this case, mentorship did not require knowledge of job search strategies but stepping back from the clutter of strategies to identify and address the more critical issue of impediments to action.
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Consider how much more confident mentees are in decisions arrived at with your guidance rather than your pontification. Similarly, mentees benefit far more from identifying a root cause than evaluating strategies. This message is not done; tune in next week for more.