Better Left Undone?
We fancy ourselves facing the world like a swashbuckler standing on the ship’s bow with our saber upraised. In reality, the fear of failure too often confines us in our safe harbor and stops us from pursuing what we want. Missteps confirm our present inability, create feelings of shame and disappointment, and potentially subject us to ridicule.
How do we move forward when we stand on the precipice before a great but uncertain undertaking? We need a belief we can do it, an understanding the consequences of failure are rarely as dire as we think, and a measure of courage to act.
Past Results
Favorable experiences provide a reason to believe in future success. Remember how many of your meaningful accomplishments started without the certainty you could do them.
You were deathly afraid after the training wheels came off and your mom, who could run no longer, announced she was letting go of your bicycle seat. Within a week, you scared mom with your Evel Knievel stunts.
Recall your anxiety when disrobing in front of your first intimate relationship partner before doing something you had never done before. Imagine what you would have missed if you had not overcome your fear by unfastening those buttons. I suspect it did not take many sessions before you considered yourself exceedingly desirable and proficient.
Ironically, setting seemingly unattainable goals evidences a belief you can accomplish it. ”What man can conceive, man can achieve.”
Dreadful Consequences?
We unjustifiably “horribilize” potentially unsuccessful outcomes.
When your girlfriend broke up with you, you were heartbroken but not consigned to lifelong membership in the lonely-hearts club. When you could not recall the name of a critical business colleague, you were terribly embarrassed but did not lose your pulse or the deal.
At Some Point…
Confidence does not create certainty. No matter how often you have done it successfully, some fear and possibility of falling off the bike or bed persists. Confidence subdues fear but does not extinguish it.
There comes a point when only action can move you through fear, and acting in the face of uncertainty and potentially unfavorable results requires courage.
Sometimes, courage comes from knowing the effort is worth the cost of failure. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Other times, necessity breeds courage. Firefighters running into burning buildings and soldiers crawling out of foxholes are not fearless but act despite fear. We will unlikely face a life-or-death situation, but meaningful progress requires traveling through the invisible barrier of fear surrounding our comfort zone.
Therefore, we should be afraid of inaction. Remaining in your illusory comfort zone when capable of more eventually causes significant discomfort. However, not every endeavor needs to be monumental and fear-laden. Olympian fitness programs include low-intensity recovery workouts.
Caveat
Fear serves a purpose by protecting us from foolhardy acts. A burn-the-boats attitude is great for the 21-year-old who quits her barista job to become a TikTok product reviewer, but it is perilous for a 50-year-old with a mortgage, car payments, and private school tuition.
Healthy fear does not stop action but tailors it.
While worrying that he may never sell one painting, a middle-aged amateur made time for school to develop his skills, painted in his garage on the weekends and began marketing his art while reducing the time spent on his professional career. Within ten years, art lovers throughout the country are collecting his pieces, and his “professional” career is a side hustle.
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Previous accomplishments reduce fear’s power, but action is the battering ram needed to break through fear’s wall. Where do you need to breach the wall?