Here are the “Receipts”
Mentees secure the most significant value and express the greatest appreciation of mentorship through their actions.
Respectfully listen and carefully consider the information provided or discovered, use what you believe is valuable, and disregard the parts you think are inapplicable or incorrect. Mentors do not expect to be followed like an orchestra conductor but will lose interest if you do not listen or reject every suggestion.
More than a bottle of our favorite wine, mentors delight in witnessing your progress and are fueled by anecdotes about how mentorship has positively affected you. Mentors are further pleased when you develop reasoning skills addressing issues you would have previously brought to them (i.e., after-the-fact reporting) or interjecting with, “I know the question you are about to ask me.”
Even better is when a mentee shares her learnings with others. I can only mentor a few people, but the impact is compounded if each mentors another.
The crowning achievement occurs when the mentee would benefit from a different mentor. Like teachers, we must celebrate our charges moving to the next level and not be depressed we have outlived our usefulness. Advancement is the best indicator of our effectiveness. Needlessly hanging on indicates codependency, not continued vitality. For those with separation anxiety, be comforted; the relationship may evolve into friendship.
Besides the satisfaction of seeing growth, there is also satisfaction in giving back. Someone along your journey took an interest in you and helped accelerate your progress. As mentioned above, paying it forward is one of the best expressions of appreciation.
Mentorship is like any other giving; you get as much as you give. From a practical standpoint, my mentees have provided intergenerational guidance on TikTock and Chat GPT and recommendations for (and gifts of) excellent personal development books.
Since we share many underlying issues (just in different forms) with our mentees, I uncover something I need every time I take a mentee through a problem-solving exercise. A mentee’s solution to an employee issue can be adapted to my relationship with my children.
Finally, you may reach the stage/age where the relationships are reciprocal – your mentor and mentee are the same. You could refer to this as peer mentoring outside the traditional context of industry colleagues. I am profoundly grateful for mine.
Solicitation
You can find willing subjects for your mentorship by registering with organizations found through a web search, but I encourage you to find something closer to home. Make it known in your circles that you are available to help, and the law of attraction will begin to work its magic. You can encourage a reluctant mentee by inviting them to meet to discuss an issue you know they are struggling with.
Concerned you are not qualified? The most important traits are desire and action. A desire indicates you are more prepared than you believe. Being consistently present compensates for any perceived or actual lack of expertise. You can always rely upon your experiences as a mentee.
Additionally, some mentorship skills can be learned only by doing. There is a reason recovering alcoholics are encouraged to become sponsors within a year of starting their recovery. They learn while sponsoring.
If you desire to help and invest the time, it is unlikely you will steer someone in the wrong direction. Anyway, mentorship is not steering but developing.
The Wrap
These four messages sought to define what mentorship is and is not, describe an effective relationship, and convey its value to everyone.
Mentorship has technical aspects such as agenda, cadence, duration, and format, but 52 Steps Forward is not a how-to manual. If you are interested, email me, and I will send you more words on the subject.
Much is learned through mentorship, the most important being critical thinking skills. There is joy in knowing you had a hand in the other party’s personal development. The process also yields a special relationship as meaningful as those with close social friends.
Be part of one or several.
Looking in the Mirror
Did I follow my counsel? Did my words provoke thought leading you to understand mentorship’s value, or did I lecture you?
