Enough of the congenial tone of the past two weeks; as fair-minded as we think we are and aspire to be, we are often hypocrites.
Good for the Goose, Good for the Gander?
We particularly delight in criticizing things we have not and will not do. Many believe homosexuality is a sin, and some heterosexuals use this position to condemn homosexuality enthusiastically since they do not indulge in it.
Many of the condemners are silent or infinitely clever regarding sinful heterosexual activity outside of marriage. They eloquently and passionately argue that this sexual activity is not so bad, maybe even excusable, because it is practically unavoidable, natural, or necessary experimentation to determine marital compatibility.
Currently, there is an uproar over people assuming a gender identity different from their anatomy. The protesters believe God permanently assigned gender based on physical attributes at birth.
Remarkably, there is not a similar uproar over the millions of women who, dissatisfied with their God-given bosoms, augment them with silicon-filled pouches. Likewise, men circumvent God’s plan for male pattern baldness by harvesting hairs from their necklines and transplanting them to the top of their heads.
We also disrupt God’s apparent design for conjoined twins with surgery to separate them even when it is unnecessary to save their lives.
What about the advocates of laws prohibiting transgender treatment for children? Many are the same people who threatened armed rebellion if the government mandated a COVID jab for their children because it would interfere with a parent’s freedom to make healthcare decisions.
I am not here to argue the appropriateness of transgender procedures or boob jobs but to stimulate thinking about the consistency of our positions. In full disclosure, I have a transgender family member who I accept, love, and support.
Perfectly Positioned
I have achieved a perfectly balanced and superior position on environmental responsibility. Those who use more than me are exploitive and uncaring of our planet and its inhabitants. Those who use less or criticize me are parsimonious, senseless tree-huggers.
I maintain such an exemplary iron grip on my thermostat that you may not notice I provide climate control for a house too large for two people. I virtue signal by remaining in my modest abode and denying myself the extravagant homes wasteful people live in.
The cultural enrichment I gain from visiting foreign lands certainly justifies the environmental cost of long-distance plane travel. Who would be so heartless as to deny the tourist-dependent countries the funds expended during these trips and me the ability to assuage my guilt with money?
I rail against anyone throwing away an ounce of food yet demand my grocer transport produce from distant countries so I can enjoy perfectly ripe grapes year-round.
I need to stop, or I may convince myself of the point I am trying to make.
Our Motive
Do we put someone down to lift ourselves up? Does looking at the speck in someone’s eye allow us to ignore the plank in our own? Addressing our motivation probably requires time on our therapist’s couch, but acknowledging our tendency is the first step in improving our actions.
From a practical standpoint, judgment, as we typically practice it through condemnation, is ineffective and counterproductive. The “victim” receives it as intended and becomes defensive, eroding rather than improving the situation.
However, criticism is valuable when given constructively to help another. “Help” is the operative term. The message retains the critical content but transforms it from condemnation to benevolent guidance. The criticism is not the end but the means to a better end.
I can accept Sally’s firm admonishment to remove the passive voice from my writing when delivered in the spirit of helping me become a better writer instead of proving she is more intelligent than me. Her words found their mark and made a difference.
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Knowing you may share a trait similar to your target, check yourself before speaking in judgment. You will craft and deliver a message benefiting its recipient when motivated by a desire to help versus enshrining yourself.
Go be critical helpful to yourself and others.
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