And Hate Them All?
Examples Abound
It is the racist White guy who truthfully has Black friends.
It is Bob who announced during bible study that he hates White people. While I am confident his proclamation does not apply to me, I accept his words and believe he generally dislikes White people.
It was the Nazi in charge of deporting Jews to concentration camps who complained that if he accepted every Nazi party leader’s clemency request for their Jewish doctor, grocer, neighbor, teacher, etc., there would be no one left to send. Albert Speer in Inside the Third Reich.
Liking an individual does not mean one is free of prejudicial beliefs, but indicates one can subdue prejudice’s effect.
Racism is the predominant example in this message, but it applies equally to every attribute subject to improper bias – gender, religion, nationality, etc. Prejudice is far too complex to resolve in a 700-word blog, but examining how we relate to individuals versus a group offers a helpful perspective.
Why, How?
We are naturally attracted to, attached to, and feel most comfortable with those most like us. We stick to our own kind, whether in the majority or minority, overrepresented or underrepresented. Our reluctance towards other tribes is based on unfamiliarity leading to discomfort, suspicion, and fear. Children are free from this tendency because their egos are undeveloped.
Today, our society is unquestionably more accepting of diversity than ever; ask any 60-year-old Black or lesbian or watch TV commercials. My being viewed as an older white man who is part of the problem represents excellent progress. As a teen and young man, I recall being referred to as a “taco,” “spic,” or one of that kind who carries knives.
Despite any progress, we should continue to improve. No one suggests we cease searching for a cure for cancer because survival rates are higher than ever.
What can be done?
The first step is recognizing and accepting our prejudices instead of futilely protesting, “There is not a racist bone in my body.” With acceptance, we can take steps to counteract the bias.
Instead of allowing preconceived notions of a group to taint every member, consider how you might favorably relate to one member (i.e., the black friend of the white racist) and let those feelings taint the group.
We are urged, “Do not let one bad apple spoil the bunch” (an evolution of the original metaphor) but allow a group characterization to spoil all members. Of course, I am not suggesting you ignore that a den is composed of thieves.
Instead, we should evaluate based only on attributes related to the content of a person’s character (Martin Luther King, I Have a Dream speech). The surest solution is to recognize everyone’s identity as a child of God.
Despite my active involvement and full integration into my “Black” church and my overwhelming (to the point of annoyance) interest in and acceptance of other cultures, I cannot escape my human nature. While I do not share the same feelings as Bible study Bob, I am inclined towards racism and will have racist thoughts arise in the future. It should not surprise you; it is like all my vices and virtues.
I have conditioned myself over many years to reduce the results of my racism. Part of my conditioning is remembering the tendency, not to self-flagellate, but to avoid complacency. We can tame our prejudices and perhaps subdue them into dormancy, but we cannot eradicate them. Alcoholics who have not touched a drop in 40 years still acknowledge they are alcoholics.
I write these words risking my disclosure may negatively impact how some feel about me and subject me to criticism. Like those in the biblical story seeking to punish the adulteress, I do not believe any thoughtful person within the sight of my prose can cast the first stone.
Our Aspiration
No one can deny our inherent prejudices, and we should not condemn ourselves for something that comes almost as naturally as breathing. Our responsibility is to take consistent, purposeful action to reduce the manifestation of our bias. The more you view people individually, the further you subdue your prejudice.
