His Story
A crestfallen friend bared his soul and shared his tale of woe with the expectation of receiving sympathy. What I heard was a tale of triumph and offered my congratulations. How can one fact situation create a response entirely contrary to the anticipated one? It is all a matter of perspective.
“Bob” told me the failure of his business cost him his life’s savings and provoked feelings of shame. During the dying throes of his business, financial difficulties forced him to move back in with his parents. Even worse, his parents lost their significant investment in the business. The parents lost so much money, Bob’s sibling was compelled to send his funds to support their parents.
At the same time, Bob is closer than ever to his parents and they are overjoyed to have him living with them. What about the sibling who lost part of his inheritance in the failed venture? Rather than resentment, the “troubles” required them to communicate and the brothers are closer than ever.
During this torturous chapter of his life, Bob met a woman who became the love of his life. Bob says she loves me for “who” I am, not “what” I am.
When I offered my congratulations instead of sympathy for this fabulous turn of events, Bob grudgingly admitted my perspective was as correct as his. Fast forward one year, and Bob has a fiancé and a professional position suited to his expertise in an industry he loves.
My Story
For me, it was the terrible situation that led me to sell my family’s food processing business. For 25 years, I was completely entwined in the business and could not envision a circumstance in which I was not part of it or had an identity apart from it.
The exact details are unimportant, but an unfortunate business circumstance arose and I was unable to lead the company to a successful solution so I was compelled to sell it. Up to that point, I possessed the lofty aspiration of working until I died at my desk.
After the sale was complete, I feared being cast adrift without the safety and security of the business. What would I do, and more importantly, who would I be without the company? Like many, I had attached an outsized personal value to my professional endeavor.
Fortunately, I received some excellent counsel and invested effort to develop myself to lead a fulfilling life. I now have a better relationship with God, myself, my family, and my friends, and have put myself to good use supporting early-stage CPG entrepreneurs and serving for a period as interim CEO and Chair of the Board of a philanthropic organization. There is also better health and pleasure in travel, writing, and interaction with a multitude of wonderful people.
The post-company experience doesn’t mean the company experience was bad. It was good, real good but not the only good and I have found even better largely due to my change in attitude (an important issue further explored in other blog messages). I also acknowledge and appreciate the food business afforded me a good measure of financial security.
The Message
You have most assuredly experienced a similar circumstance. It was the time when one door closed (i.e., loss of job or relationship) and you feared dreadful consequences only to later realize the loss was necessary to open the door to a better job or partner.
These stories do not prove every poor circumstance immediately leads to a great result or that every good result arises from a poor circumstance.
This message is an invitation to allow yourself to consider the possibility of a future favorable outcome. In fact, the misfortune may be removing an unrecognized impediment to your fulfilling life.
With this understanding, the fear of anticipated loss is replaced by knowledge there will be a provision made for your journey and there is an abundance of fulfilling chapters to be lived.
Anticipate goodness.
