Me? You may expect the person you need to forgive most is the parent who misshaped you during your formative years or the school bully who gave you wedgies and an inferiority complex.  Yes, you need to forgive them, but you need self-forgiveness, as an absence impedes the pursuit of a fulfilling life.     Please note the use of “have been” in the title.  You must come to the table of forgiveness...

No Way! You often hear, “I will not forgive her until she apologizes.”  When we make forgiveness contingent on the offender expressing remorse, offering an apology, and making amends, we do not appreciate the purpose of forgiveness or the consequences of unforgiveness. The forgiver is forgiveness’s first beneficiary.  The act of forgiving releases the wounded from the emotional burden inevitably...

Don’t Throw the Baby out with the Bathwater It seems like we must answer every issue with a binary choice: yes or no.  The all-or-nothing standard leads us to believe that disagreement over part is disagreement over the whole, leading to unnecessary alienation.   You either approve of the political party’s entire platform or are labeled a RINO (Republican in name only).  As a presidential...

For my 60th birthday last year, I wrote the typical, funny, "I can't believe I'm here" stories about reaching a milestone birthday.  Some harsh reality set in in the past twelve months, but it also validated last year's message.  Reality Sets In Rather than hearing I looked too good to be 60, I endured abundant episodes indicating my appearance was age-appropriate.   When I delivered my mom to...

What is the purpose of accolades, and what do we do with them? Acceptance First, accept the compliment graciously by thanking the provider.  Often, we respond flippantly in an attempt at humility.  Have you ever said, “Yes, the dress is pretty, but my butt looks big,” or “Yes, I finished the marathon, but I ran too slowly”?  These well-intentioned expressions of humility reject or belittle the...